A Pain Behind The Smile

                     A Pain Behind The Smile -by UnKnown

Andrew is the narrator of the whole story……}

Limitless Happiness

‘Any one knows what destiny is’ said Andrew, a teacher without any parents, to the young children and teenagers sitting in front of him. The place was perfect to listen to any kind of stories, have a nice picnic or just be alone sitting and enjoying the nice breeze always flowing. The place was filled with little hills. There was nothing present but filled with fine grass and a large and very old oak tree at the middle of the hills.

Everyone was shocked at the question Andrew asked. He usually tells fairytales, funny jokes or even adventurous tales or even hand works for the teenagers. And after the stories all of them used to lie around have a smile on their face and used to feel the breeze and just tell their own stories to each other. But this time Andrew was silent and had a sad kind of feeling that was vividly visible on his face.

‘Shall I tell you all a story’ said Andrew. All the children shouted out ‘yes’ with excitement and happiness.

‘There was a boy, like you all except he had a special talent or gift, ‘a gift’ as Raymond said…

Yes this is the story of a boy named Raymond . He was stylish enough to make everyone jealous, the personality that any girl and even guys gets fond of. He always knew what to do and when to do it so that it is perfect. Everyone’s sorrow and all the sadness went away when they got to know that Raymond would come and visit them. He could make anyone of any age laugh at his words and make them happy even if they were in grave pain. He would patiently wait and hear their words of pain and then try to solve them. He was never afraid to tell someone that that person is wrong because he did everything to make them feel good.

The main reason he could be happy about everything was that he accepted what was wrong about him and if he couldn’t fix it then he used to cover the faults with the beauty of happiness he used to set up in everyone’s eyes and hearts. Yes Raymond he was.’

Said Andrew with eyes filled with tears almost ready to fall and crawl down his cheeks.

Kate, one of the teens present asked ‘was stylish, was patient? Why was where is he now??’

Hearing the question Andrew couldn’t stop his tears but to crawl down his cheeks. He quickly wiped his face and resumed back into the story-

‘ He was never good at his studies and he never liked studying.. He used to say ‘You don’t have to study if you want to learn, you just have to….. learn with interest and passion and about the things you like. You don’t have to be average in everything but try to be excellent at only one thing.’ He used hide his exam papers and not tell about his grades because he knew how hurt his mother, Elley, would be hurt. He tried his best to study and good grades but he JUST couldn’t do it.

Whenever he us sit for his homework his mind was into movies, theatres and plays and music. He had a god gifted voice and a real true talent of acting but no one saw them. Every one told him to become a doctor and study. But no one asked what he wanted to be. And with a tendency of being patient and the ability to bear extreme pain he never told how much he was hurt when people said that he should become a doctor. He wanted to become an actor and singer, he wanted fans and unknown people coming out of nowhere and asking for autographs and photographs. But he did not know how to do it. He couldn’t join the plays in school or in the musical groups but always had to study to please his mother’s strong desire of him becoming a doctor.’ slowly like a movie the spoken story showed the life of Raymond himself.

‘Raymond honey, Ray are you listening to me’ said Ellie.

‘Yes mom I can hear you don’t worry I am not deaf.’ Raymond.

‘ So where are the scripts, you know the exam papers you were supposed to receive days ago’ said Ellie in such a voice that crunched Raymond’s heart with terror.

‘Yes mom they will be given to me, don’t know when but I know I will get a good grade.’

‘You better get an A because you have to be a doctor and you know that, don’t you dear?’ said Ellie while fixing Raymond’s hair.

Raymond rushed to his rooms with eyes full of tear and heart filled with sorrow. He went to his room and locked the door but forgot that the lock was jammed and doesn’t work. He fell to the ground and while banging his head slightly on the wall and he cried his heart out and screamed his voice out but suddenly he remembered that his mother might hear him.

He lowered his voice but the sorrow present didn’t stop. His veins were vivid and was understood that how much blood flowed through them. He opened his mouth but couldn’t scream because of his fear against his mother and his eyes were red as ever and he grabbed the carpet beneath him and his face was all sweaty and filled with tears. The whole room had no sound present except the sniffing sound of Raymond. He quickly grabbed his bag and took out the math and English exam paper. They had big ‘ F ’ written on them with deep red colour.

His tears rolled down his cheeks and dropped on the paper making it soggy and wet. He held those papers close to him and cried out as if someone has died but didn’t make a single sound. Suddenly the door knob turned and Ellie came in.

‘ Raymond what is that in your hand’

She didn’t even ask why he was crying. Receiving no reply Ellie screamed out

‘What IS IT. Raymond get up, GET UP’.

With a shaking leg, a sniffing nose and a pounding heart he got up. Ellie grabbed the sheets and her eyes were bigger than ever, filled with anger she came towards Raymond and slapped him. Not once, not twice but kept slapping him repeatedly and grabbing the cricket bat nearby and hit him harder and harder and said

‘ you, you idiot. You can’t even get an A in your exams look at us, look at us. Your father and I were the toppers of the school and now we are successful doctors. And you I am ashamed that you are even my son.’

‘please mom please you are hurting me please, mom please….’ shouted out Raymond.

After all that nonsense thrown in Raymond’s face and couple more rough hits with the bat Elley left. Raymond rushed to the door slammed the door giving the whole house to experience a shake he went to the toilet, locked the door and cried his heart out. This time he didn’t stop making the sound, he screamed harder and harder every time, he could feel the pain in his vocal cords but didn’t stop. He had that much pain existing in his heart.

This was not the first time he was treated like this several times before. He punched the floor and moved his legs. He was feeling such pain that no one could understand. He got up and opened his t-shirt and saw a terrible scene in the mirror. There were marks of hitting and cuts and bruises that were once done by Elley and healed back but the marks never faded away but stayed and reminded him of his constant painful past. He took a shower and yet couldn’t stop crying.

He didn’t cry because he was hit but because he knew how embarrassed his mother would feel he said ‘ma, mom please forgive me, please PLEASE … I don’t want you to be hurt, I am trying my best but can’t make a good result.’

‘Why don’t you understand that I want to study in the media line??’ saying all these things looking outside the window . ‘

Why don’t you work hard enough then?’ said Elley throwing clothes at Raymond.

‘ There is a party tonight. Do get dressed and just……. Just get dressed.’

Closing his eyes and letting tears fall and hit the ground he said ‘ yes mom. I will get ready’.

The night came and Raymond, Ellie and James, Raymond’s father, all went to the party. Then Raymond showed his real gift/talent. He greeted his cousins with such manner that no one would even guess that he might have such pain… everyone grabbed a can of soda and started gossiping and Raymond started making others laughing by cracking jokes and acting one of the teachers from the school and they all laughed together. Emma, one of his cousins suddenly said

‘you have limitless happiness in your life don’t you..you are always happy and make us all happy. You are so lucky because you have never felt pain..hahaha..’

Hearing this Raymond with a small smile and turned and looked at his mother and again looked at Emma and smile slightly and looked down.

The Nights Are Never Silent

After the party Raymond came back to his house and got undressed and went to sleep without even talking with his mom about everything that happened in the day.

He lied down on the bed beside a huge window and looked at the outside world and the tears never stopped crawling down. Emma’s words were still ringing in his head and crying out and whining much louder and louder. Ellie on the other hand was listening to all the cries and moans of his son while Jake was asleep. She started to realize that whatever she did and the way she treated him for the last few years were completely wrong but couldn’t get enough courage to go ask for forgiveness to Raymond.

Each day went silent for both Ellie and Raymond. During the lunch Raymond always looked away from his mother and didn’t talk to her much without necessity and they finished their lunches and dinner all silent. The days were silent where as the nights were filled with whining and moans of Raymond and Ellie. Both of them loved each other, they couldn’t even figure out what they should do to please the other. But the way they acted was really confusing.

Raymond and Ellie both of them thought that each hated the other. And every night was difficult for them they used to cry and regret for everything they have done to hurt each other. This continued for a week and then one day, Ellie woke up early and went and checked on Raymond and found him sleeping so she went close to him tip toeing and kissed his forehead and said ‘Sorry’.

Then she went downstairs to wake up Jake since he had to go to work early that day. But found a shocking a news. She called him once, twice and kept on shaking him and tickling him but there was no response. Jake died. Ellie rushed to Raymond and woke him up and was stammering

‘your father, you your dad, your your da dad’.

‘what what happened to him’ said Raymond with a horrific feeling and rushed downstairs while grabbing his mother’s hand tightly.

This was the first time he touched after a complete week. They rushed down and Raymond found his father already passed away and he held his father’s face and said

‘Dad, dad wake up, talk to me dad, talk to me please, I didn’t even talk to you properly this past week. please’ .

.cried Raymond and holding her mother they felt pain. Then after everyone’s arrival the funeral took place and everyone went back to their place.

That night Raymond and his mother were the only ones present in the entire house. Ellie opened the door and came to check on Raymond.

‘ Mom are you there, mom?’ said Raymond with a feeling of happiness.

‘yes honey it is me.. ray listen I need to talk to you’ said Ellie.

‘no ma I need to tell you something first’.

‘No Raymond I m going tell first’

‘ladies first isn’t it.’

Both of them laughed a little and then Raymond said ‘ok’.

‘so here it goes. Look I have acted really badly with you, I have hurt you a lot I even hit you with a bat and slapped you and you said nothing. I am truly sorry. I truly am and if you want to study in the media line you are free to but please first forgive me. I am the worst mother I know but you were quiet and didn’t even a little anger come to me.. I am sorry please forgive me please.’ Said Ellie holding Raymond’s hands and cry solemnly.

‘ no ma. You did what a normal mother would do. You loved me too much, so much that you thought that me being a doctor will help in my future, but it wont. Don’t say that you are the worst mother, according to me you are the best mother but you are just different and I know you love me a lot.. oh mom stop crying you are making me emotional and since dad passed away you are the only one who is left in my life.. oh mom stop crying..’ said ray hugging his mom with the possible love he could give and kissed her head rapidly.

‘this is so awkward’ said ray.

And both of them started laughing. The nights were not full of depression anymore but it was more full of happiness. Raymond and Ellie had dinner and lunch together talking about all the happy things in life and their attitude completely changed towards each other. And their love started to grow more and more….

 

The Spinning Seizures

Raymond was now happy with his life and also joined the theatre group and everyday morning was more exciting than the previous one. Ellie and Raymond decided to take turns on making the breakfast, dinner and lunch.

‘You have no idea how to cook. You don’t even know the ‘c’ of cooking.’ said Ellie.

‘what, what did you just say’ said Raymond.

‘you heard me. You don’t know how to cook’ said Ellie.

‘maybe I don’t know how to make a pancake but I do know how to cook you head. I can make it heat up and start boiling and you will start screaming at me. hahahaa’ said Raymond.

They both started laughing together ignoring the fact that the pancake got burned.

But all that happiness that took months to build were all starting to disappear and vanish because of the spinning seizures. In the middle of the play one day Raymond had a kind of headache and he was staring at a place for too long as if he was having a vision. And automatically he started recovering. Then that night before sleeping he came out of the toilet and his head gave such a spin that he twisted himself around and unintentionally sitting down on the floor beside the cupboard. He had his eyes shut close tightly and he held his shoulders tight and said

‘ouch, what is happening to me’.

He went down for dinner and saw his mother smiling at him.

‘what mom, any good news?’ said ray.

‘well of course here take this envelope this came from your school’ replied Ellie.

‘well what does it say’ asked Raymond.

Ellie pointed the envelope with her eyes as a sign to read it by himself. After opening the letter he stood up and was at a terror shock and said

‘I, I am selected for the school’s critic judged play and I am the lead..Mom did you read it….’

Ellie came and hugged him and said with such an adorable way ‘yes dear I read it.. and I am really and truly proud of what you are doing .. Congratulations dear congratulation…and that’s why I baked a cake for you’

‘with extra chocolate and choco chips??’ said raymond with a doubting face.

‘yes with extra chocolate and choco cips’.

Then they ate it together after the dinner and Raymond experienced another seizure and Ellie asked ‘what happened honey, why are you looking like that. Is everything alright?’

‘yes mom everything is just fine. Don’t worry about me’ said Ray with a smile but a pain hidden behind it..

Then the next morning Raymond bunked the class and called me, Andrew, yes I was his best friend back in the theatre days. He called me and asked me if I could make up a lie and make excuse so that the director excuses him. So as a best friend I did what he asked for. And this continued for days and then excelled to weeks. He missed a lot of the rehearsals and bunked sometimes. But he kept all this as a secret from his Ellie. He acted normal and was always cheerful with everyone especially his mother because the last thing he wanted was to give Ellie the pain that she does not deserve. Though he acted normally and performed excellently in the plays I found something different about him.. All of a sudden he used to close his eyes and hold something nearby tightly  as if he was about to fall or he had seizures that I took a long time to notice. Then one day when he decided to skip the rehearsal I went out and followed him…. Tip toeing I found out that he visited a doctor. And every time I followed him he went to the same place, the same hospital and the same doctor.

But then a day came when every of his secrets were out….

Truth Unfolded

Finally after days of following I was eager to find out the truth. And about all things Raymond was hiding from us. So I went to the doctor and just saw Raymond leaving the room. I hid myself behind the door and saw him rushing out wearing a scarf around him with hat covering the whole of his face. So I went back into the hospital and went into the room from where he was leaving.

‘Excuse me sir. I don’t think you have made an appointment. Do you?’ said the Bethany, probably Raymond’s doctor.

‘No I don’t have an appointment. But are you the doctor of Raymond, Raymond Gale?” I asked with a hope of getting a positive answer.

‘Yes, yes I am his doctor. But who are you?’ asked Bethany.

‘I am his best friend and I need all the information about him. Why he comes here twice a week and every week?’ with a suspicious look on my face I asked the doctor.

Bethany while packing her bag for leaving said ‘We have security policy and I am not going to tell anything about him just because say that you are his best friend. I am sorry Mr.??

‘Andrew Evans’ I said hastily.

‘Right Mr. Evans sorry but..’ replied Bethany.

‘What, what do you mean by ‘but’ do you have any idea what is happening to us, me , Ellie his mother the whole play crew. We are falling apart without him. Especially his mother, she already lost her husband and the only one who is left is her son, so if he is in trouble then please tell me. I don’t know if you have any close friends like I have but if you did, you would understand the pain I am going through constantly thinking about him and always following him and spying on my best friend. Spying on my best friend.. can you believe that, I follow and doubt and even spy on my best friend…??? So please doctor, please tell me what is with him, is he sick or something please tell me… Please.’

I said with tears gushing out of eyes and dropping on the files on the desk. I sat down on the chair with my hands over my forehead and sniffing.

‘Here they are, read them, but don’t break apart’ said Bethany holding two files over my head.

I grabbed them and opened it quickly. The next few minutes were like as if the time stopped. The files dropped from my hand and I looked at Bethany. She looked at me with a face filled with nothing but sadness. My eyes were filled with more tears and the only thing left was me falling on the floor crying like a baby. Suddenly my phone rang and it was Ellie.

‘Andrew, Andrew are you there? Please come quickly something happened to Raymond and I don’t what exactly happened. Please come quickly’ without even taking my reply she cut the line.

Leaving the files on the floor I rushed out the door and running as fast I could, slamming every possible door on my way. The only thing running through my mind was

‘please Ray, please don’t leave us like this, not without informing us please Ray. Don’t you dare leave us.’

I rushed through their door and went upstairs and found Raymond lying on the bed and his mother talking to him. Knowing that whatever happened to him, he is ok or recovering, gave me a relieving feeling. Then Ellie was leaving the room and also held my room and took me to their kitchen.

The she said ‘he came home and then we were having our lunch and he as usual made me laugh by cracking jokes about the rehearsals. And then suddenly he held my hand tightly and closed his eyes tightly, I could see his pain. He was having a strong headache or something and then he fell of the chair and I quickly carried him to his room and then I called you. And after sprinkling some water and wiping his face he woke up and then I fed him. We talked and I wanted to find out what exactly happened but there’s no way he was telling me anything and now we are here.’

Knowing that he was lying about the jokes again proved his excellence in acting. I replied ‘actually the thing is that he is suffering from……..’

 

When the Two Ends Meet

‘Suffering from headaches because of all the late night works for the play. Right Andrew?? said Raymond standing on the staircase behind me.

I looked at him gazing at his ability to act. I can still remember his face. He was smiling at us and telling how he actually felt during the spin previously and then said ‘mom can you make some hot chocolate for me and Andy’ and went upstairs.

I followed him up, went to his room and shut the door hard and turned around.

‘So you did follow me and now you know the truth?’ said Ray with confidence.

‘How did you know I was following you?  how do you know that I know about you??’ my reply.

‘because, you dumbo I wanted you to find about me. I did not have the courage to tell it to you but I did want you to know so I made such a plan that you would want to follow me and want to find out everything. And guess what it did work.’ Raymond. ‘so ask me, I know you want to ask me more questions so feel free to ask more.’ said Raymond furthermore.

‘ why don’t  you tell her, you know your mom?’ ‘she deserves to know right?’ I said.

‘Deserves to know. Huh she was the only one who realized her mistake and was always there for me, always laughing at the jokes even if I have already told them before, she laughs, cooks and loves me only so that I am happy. Why would I want to ruin and punish her like this.’ said Raymond.

‘ Oh for god’s sake Raymond you have BRAIN TUMOUR  and that also at the last stage. You think that lying to her like this and then die one day is what she deserves?’ I said with a strong and deep voice.

‘I haven’t heard someone say ‘brain tumour’  from anyone else’s mouth. Oh god oh god. What am I doing, what I am supposed to do. Oh god’ said Raymond while crying and falling to the bed and wiping his eyes.

‘you know what maybe this is destiny, maybe this is destiny.’ Raymond.

‘Huh destiny what is destiny , what is it?’ I said while crying as well.

‘its something you cannot escape or dodge or neglect.’ said Raymond.

I rushed towards him hugged him tightly and said ‘don’t cry bro, please don’t cry you are not alone I am here bro I am here. We will preach the end to this together.’

We were crying like babies who did not get their foods.

‘And what about mom, what about her, how do I tell her?’ said Raymond.

‘ destiny brought you this far, that creepy thing is going to help you pass through this as well.’ I said.

Then Raymond told everything from the beginning, starting from the bruises, apologies and the brain cancer. After listening to the whole story I rushed downstairs to go back to home and I was already late.

While going Ellie said ‘Andy dear what about the hot chocolate?’

‘no Ellie not today’ I said.

‘ probably he is in a diet for the play. He is already pretty full with six packs.’ Said Raymond.

Then he and his mother was laughing as if nothing has happened. I was walking out of the house and thinking of their happiness and about its sudden end I started crying again. That whole night went with me crying. And the weird thing was that it was not for me but for someone else’s life.

 

The Flaw in the Play of Life

Days went by and everything was the same. The only person who knew about the brain tumour was Raymond and Andrew. I tried to convince him to reveal his problem to his mother. But every time he refused and automatically changed the topic to something else. But as the days passed there was something that did not stay the same but actually changed so slowly that only a few people can understand. The change was Raymond he was trying extremely to get high grades and make Ellie happy he literally ended being the topper of the class and he was also getting better in math.

One day he called a meeting for the all the cast and crew.

‘I want to forfeit, I don’t want to be in the play anymore. I want to put my efforts and hard works on my studies.’ Said Raymond.

The whole cast was shocked. The director and I started to speak

‘are you mad, you are the only one who can raise this school to fame, you’re the lead you’re the star’Adam, the director.

‘you crazy,  since when did you become the one to make the decision. You can’t leave the play like this’ I said.

Everyone was really angry but I knew the reason for all this.

‘ no you can’t…….’ said Adam but interrupted by me.

‘let him go, please let him go’ I said.

‘ok then’ agreed Adam. The times went by and we found out another lead but he was not even 1 percent close to Ray. But I was not the only one who noticed his change.

‘Sit Raymond, sit’ said Ellie. ‘why did you leave the play? Say the truth.’ said Ellie with a strong accent.

‘I left the play so that I can study more and put my efforts on it so that you are happy. That’s the only reason nothing new. Why are you asking all this?’ said Raymond.

‘ You can an act with others and make them a full, but not me, I am your mother dear, I know when you lie and even when you hide something. You could even make me happy in your own way, by acting, why did you decide to change?’ said Ellie with such a voice that put Raymond into one of the most fearful moment.

‘ I just decided to make you happy in the way you wanted….’ Raymond but interrupted by Ellie-

‘Exactly ‘way I wanted’. You are not the type of doing things on other’s way. You do things in your way and made everyone happy more than they expected. You even left the play which was really difficult to do, and I know that. This kind of decision can only be done when there is a strong reason, even a reason like dying.’ Raymond dramatically moved his eyes that were staring at the floor to Ellie’s suspicious eyes.

‘So now tell me what are you hiding from me Raymond’.

Raymond got closer to Ellie grabbed her hand and started crying and said ‘ I have brain tumour, and that is in the last stage. That’s why I took such a big step.’

Ellie was in a big emotional shock and was almost about to break down. But she stayed strong and cried with having a lot of courage. She said

‘why did you not tell me about this. Did you think that not telling me will keep in peace?’

‘Yes’ stammered Raymond.

‘Well you are wrong, I feel much relieved that I know that you revealed me your difficulty. But yes I am in grieving pain and you have no idea. But now look at me, look at me.’

Ray looked at her with a deep red face.

‘Now you are going to go back to the play tomorrow and you are going to die after you do everything you wanted to. Ok?’ said Ellie.

‘ok’ replied Ray.

And then both of them started to cry by hugging each other and tightly each other very tightly and strongly that it was filled with immense pain but was defeated by the immense love they had for each other. The love was so strong that even a stone hearted man would collapse within.

That night, they were sleeping together, crying and laughing at the playful past. And at the end the held each other’s hand and fell asleep.

The whole month passed and I barely even got to talk to Raymond. During the rehearsal Raymond and eventually everyone was stopped their play and was looking at him. He called me and reasonably I went towards him.

‘I told her, or more specifically she got it out of me. Mom knows about my cancer.’ said Raymond.

‘And the good thing is I came to join the group. So can I?’ he said furthermore.

Without a reply I rushed to the director and told him about the change of plan. He gladly accepted the change but the one clot in the middle and he was Philip, the new lead.

‘No way, I am not going to leave my part I worked hard and got into this play. By the way weren’t you guys the one who begged me to enter the play?’ said Philip with hating arrogant voice.

With nothing to reply back, I said with a hard feelings ‘You can take my part I am the lead’s best friend the second lead if specifically said. You can take my part and I will forfeit. It will be hard I mean extremely hard. But I will do anything to take back Ray, my best friend into this play.’

I stopped by staring at Raymond. Eventually Philip agreed and Adam said

‘try and get the attitude Andy has because you are worth nothing Philip, nothing so shut the arrogance and be nice to everyone.’

‘huh’ said Philip with an arrogant voice.

I went and hugged Raymond and said ‘ I missed you’…………………….

The Decision

The weeks went by and almost everyone came to know about Raymond’s cancer and everyone comforted him but whether he was happy or not, nobody could understand. But the question that kept hurting me was the question to Ellie’s. So one night I invited them to dinner, so that we can talk out with Ray why he doesn’t get chemotherapy or get a treatment or even a surgery even if necessary. So they arrived that night with a happy mood. After the dinner and everything we all went and sat in the living room.

‘Ray? Your mom and I have been thinking since you already talked to the doctor and all, why don’t you get a surgery or chemotherapy?’ I said.

‘Is there a hundred percent chance that I will be cured? You want to waste the last of my life by visiting the doctor often and getting chemos and losing my hair and getting hair? Well guess what I want to die simply. The cancer came without any treatment and I will die without any treatment. When there is no surety that I will be cured then why struggle to live long but not happy. And haven’t you heard that cancer is a disease that when its symptoms are shown that means you’re already at the end of the rope.’ said Raymond with sharp voice.

‘Don’t say that dear, you’re going to live a long life.’ said Ellie.

Raymond looked at us with a sad face that no one could be happy to see it. The next day we three went to the doctor.

‘How are you Raymond?’ said Bethany.

‘Huh as if you don’t know’ I remarked.

Everyone stared at me and I ended up saying ‘sorry’.

‘Yes even I suggested him a treatment but he refused. At the end it all depends on him. Its life it’s his decision.’ said Bethany.

‘What about us? Ellie will die within and how will I live with my best friend gone…..’ replied Andrew but interrupted by Raymond saying-

‘Come on Andrew its all about you all isn’t it. Don’t you see how I feel, how much pain I am bearing, why don’t you just let me die peacefully. With or without treatment I am supposed to die so why do you keep on bothering me. Please for god’s sake stop poking me.’

Then he rushed out of the room. After a moment of silence Ellie said ‘Well we sure can’t change that boy’s mind. But thank you Doctor Bethany.’

While giving her fees we left.

‘Who wants a pizza? Lets celebrate because the grand play is tomorrow and I am alive. So shall we?’ said Raymond with a fake happy face.’

‘Yes’ we replied.

And then finally the main day came………………………….

The Pain Behind The Smile

Finally the day came for the big critic judged play.

‘Are you sure you can do this? You had the seizures and all these difficulties for the past few weeks and even this morning.’ said Ellie.

‘I know right? Usually the cancer thing was supposed to hurt but there is something that still gives me the power and the energy to fight on.’

‘Come hear dear, best of luck. I will arrive at 5:00 pm. Go and live your dream before it’s too late.’ said Ellie while kissing Raymond’s head.

Raymond quickly came and hugged her tightly and said ‘If you did not tell me to go back and join the theatre group then I would surely die unhappy. Thanks mom. I love you, love you, love love love love you a looot’ and kissed her back at the forehead.

‘I love you too dear’ said Ellie and laughed.

‘You look bright as the moon Raymond.’ said Adam.

‘Huh I am nothing like the moon’ replied Raymond.

‘It’s ok Ray’ said Adam.

‘What I didn’t mean it in the sad way I meant that I am nothing like the moon, I am way better than the moon. Dumbo.’ replied Ray with a funny tone and the whole theatre echoed with laughter and giggles. Raymond looked around them all happy and wished that this not the last time they see them all happy.

The play began and there were four plays the first and the last were musicals and the ones in between were Shakespeare plays. The whole theatre was filled with people and the three critics looked creepy but you can see the eye and know that they were really interested and excited to see Raymond perform. Raymond was the lead of all the three plays except the ‘Merchant of Venice’ he wanted me to be the lead of that play and I gladly accepted the offer.

The last musical play begin and it was on the song “ O’ Children” by Nick Cave. It was about an old man (Ray) telling his childhood and present stories to others while dancing and performing and acting. And at the end he dies in the play. The rest three plays were amazing and the last one was really emotion for everyone who knew about Raymond’s cancer. The last part of the song where it gives everyone a shiver and a kind of emotional feeling, they perform a great dance and slowly (Ray) dies in the play. I was sitting with Ellie and was watching with a lot of excitement and interest; it was excellently choreographed by Raymond. Then came the end of the song and eventually Raymond plays dead. Everyone gave a standing ovation including the critics. But…………..

Suddenly the everyone on the stage started to get shocked and started screaming and one cried out ‘Oh My God Raymond died’…

I rushed quickly and ran towards the stage leaving the fact that Ellie was behind me and how shocked she was to hear those words. I ran towards him and shoved everyone and went towards him and carried his head over to my lap and saw that he did pass away but he had a smile on his face. Then I realized that only a few people knew about the pain behind his smile.

Suddenly I remembered about Ellie and went to get her but as I was on my way another shocking story was waiting for me. I saw that Ellie’s head was hanging down and she did not answer my shouts at her, she passed away as well. I looked back and forth once at Raymond and the next at his mother. Tears gushed out my eyes and I fell to my knees and cried my heart out and the song was still playing. Within all those chaos I had a happy feeling because Ellie nor Raymond didn’t have to see one of them die first but went to God together. Keeping this in my mind I tried to calm down my heart but it failed. I was sitting there all alone and having no one to give some hope to me………”

 

The whole vision going through Andrew’s mind ended and came back to the real life. All his students had more or less tears flooding from their eyes. Then one of them said ‘May Raymond and Ellie be safe and rest in peace.’ Then everyone said ‘Amen’… The sun was almost setting and everyone lied down some holding hands with each other and some alone. Then one of the guys from the musical department played the song ‘Suggestions’. Then Andrew took a deep breath and the whole day came to an emotional end.